10 Steps to Take When Your Parents Can No Longer Care for Themselves (2024)

Many older adults need some help from others as they age. As your parents get older, there may come a time when they need to rely on you for care, just like you once relied on them.

Signs Your Aging Parents Need Help

When your parents are no longer able to care for themselves, they may ask for your help. However, they may not realize they need help, or may not want you to worry. If you’re concerned about your parents’ health, watch out for these signs that they may need help caring for themselves

  1. They’re not keeping up with their personal hygiene routine.
  2. Their home or yard is no longer well-maintained.
  3. They’ve been gradually or suddenly losing weight without trying.
  4. They’ve given up on their favorite social activities.
  5. They’re unsteady on their feet or have recently fallen.
  6. They’re managing serious health conditions.

10 Steps to Take When Your Aging Parents Can No Longer Take Care of Themselves

If you’ve determined your aging parents are no longer able to care for themselves, you may be unsure about what to do next. To help your parent, consider taking these 10 steps.

1. Talk to your parents about your concerns

When you notice your parents need help with personal care or routine household tasks, talk to them about your concerns. This topic can be difficult, so try to be patient and compassionate. Introduce the idea of getting help slowly and give your parents time to consider the idea.

2. Find out your parents’ wishes

It’s important to involve your aging parents in their care decisions. Before making any arrangements, ask your parents about their wishes for senior care. If your parents are open to the idea of receiving support, and want your help making decisions, proceed to the next step.

3. Assess your parents’ needs

Reflect on how much support your parents need to remain safe and healthy. Do they need help with housekeeping, laundry, meal preparation or other household tasks? Do theyneed help with grooming or personal care activities? Do they have difficulty managing a chronic health condition?

4. Evaluate your caregiving capabilities

Before agreeing to take care of your aging parents, evaluate your own needs and abilities. If you don’t live nearby, or are busy with work or childcare responsibilities, you may not be able to provide the care your parents need. Taking on too many responsibilities can contribute to caregiver burnout, which isn’t good for you or your parents.

5. Decide if you need professional help

If you’re not the best person to care for your aging parents, a friend or family member may be able and willing to offer support. However, if your parents have chronic health concerns, you may feel more comfortable if they receive care from a professional provider.

6. Explore elderly care options

Many older adults wish to remain in their own homes for as long as possible. For these seniors, in home care services, such as help from a personal care aide or home health aide, may be the right choice. Other seniors may prefer assisted living facilities or nursing homes.

7. Choose an elderly care provider

If your parents want to remain in their home, evaluate local licensedhome careagencies. Discuss your parents’ circ*mstances and ask plenty of questions to ensure the agency is the right fit. If your parents will be moving to an assisted living facility or nursing home, schedule a tour to ensure they’ll be comfortable in their new home.

8. Understand your parents’ financial position

Talk to your parents about their financial situation to find out if they’re able to pay for the elder care they need. Some seniors may have enough financial resources to pay for care privately. But don’t worry if your parents can’t afford elder care — there are many programs that can help seniors pay for the care they need.

9. Research funding options

Depending on your parents’ care needs and financial situation, programs such as Medicare or Medicaid may help pay for elderly care costs. Private insurance, such as a long-term care insurance policy, may be another option.

10. Help your parents arrange care

Once you’ve helped your parents select the best elder care option for their needs, call to make arrangements for care services. If your parents ask for help with paperwork, review all documents carefully. And once their care begins, check in regularly to ensure they’re satisfied.

ArchCare Can Help

When your aging parents can no longer look after themselves, ArchCare can help. ArchCare offers a continuum of care to help seniors live life to its fullest, including traditional nursing home care, home-based nursing home alternatives and compassionate end-of-life care.

Call and speak with a Care Navigator at (855) 951-CARE [2273] (TTY:711) We’re here to help from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. from Monday through Friday.

10 Steps to Take When Your Parents Can No Longer Care for Themselves (2024)

FAQs

10 Steps to Take When Your Parents Can No Longer Care for Themselves? ›

Assisted Living – Moving your parents to an assisted living facility allows them to maintain as much autonomy as they are capable of, while also providing them the care they need. Learn more about assisted living here.

What do I do when my parents can't take care of themselves? ›

Assisted Living – Moving your parents to an assisted living facility allows them to maintain as much autonomy as they are capable of, while also providing them the care they need. Learn more about assisted living here.

Am I forced to take care of my parents? ›

In the United States, each state has its laws requiring children to take care of their elderly parents. In 30 states, an adult is liable for their old parents' care after they are unable to care for themselves. However, the statute establishing this filial obligation has never been implemented in 11 of these states.

What do you call a person who can't take care of themselves? ›

Diogenes syndrome is when a person does not take care of themselves or their surroundings. It may lead to poor hygiene and possibly some health and social problems. It often occurs with other conditions, like dementia. People with the condition often show signs of severe self-neglect, social isolation, and hoarding.

When siblings refuse to help elderly parents? ›

If siblings' behavior doesn't change, it's time to do what caregivers without siblings do: Find support and help elsewhere. You don't have to go it alone. Caregiver support groups, other relatives, and friends who have been caregivers can provide a place to vent or to find help and support.

What age is considered elderly? ›

Traditionally, the “elderly” are considered to be those persons age 65 and older.

Am I responsible for my aging parents? ›

In 30 states, the child is responsible for the care of their elderly parents once they can no longer take care of themselves. However, in 11 of these states, the law that states this filial responsibility has never been enforced.

Why does my elderly mother cry so much? ›

Physical causes: Pain, restlessness, hunger, a need to use the bathroom, etc. External causes: An environment that is too busy, loud noises, a change in routine, etc. Psychological causes: Loneliness, boredom, anxiety, depression, and delusions1.

What is it called when parents don't take care of their child? ›

Neglect is the ongoing failure to meet a child's basic needs and the most common form of child abuse2. A child might be left hungry or dirty, or without proper clothing, shelter, supervision or health care.

How do you convince your parents to take care of themselves? ›

Invite them to your morning walk, or have them over for a dinner of healthy grilled fish and vegetables. Let your behavior help them to contemplate a change in their own behavior. Start a conversation. Sound like you're lecturing, and Mom and Dad will shut your words out.

At what age should a child be able to take care of themselves? ›

At around age 10 or 11, he'll be able to stay home alone, for instance, for short periods and with clear instructions. Then it's simply a matter of time before he can do laundry and cook dinner, not to mention drive himself to soccer practice – or, better yet, bring you breakfast in bed.

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